Marriage in God’s Hands 17
Honesty And Integrity
Honesty and integrity is important in all aspects of our marriages. Honesty is a springboard for a lot of things that happen or do not happen in our marriages. It is not always easy to be transparent, to be vulnerable and fearful that you may not be understood.
Without making commitments that are worthy of our marriages, etc, we will not be successful. Tom and Alane one morning, realizing their spiritual needs, made the commitment to study together The Desire of Ages, a beautiful book on the life of Christ, so that they may learn how He lived successfully in this world. This aided in binding them together.
If you are in a situation where you do not know the spiritual condition of your spouse, we encourage you to open first to God, and than to each other. Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10 reveals that two are better than one – when one falls, the other will lift him/her up.
In Psalm 25:21: “Let integrity and uprightness preserve me…” We want our marriages to be preserved. Proverbs 11:3: “The integrity of the upright shall guide them…” If we are unable to solve a personal problem we struggle with, than we should be honest to our spouse, who loves us. The sooner, the better, so that the issue might not aggravate, and lead to severer damages. Are you living a secret life, doing things, going places, watching or reading things you should not, or that your spouse will not want you to? These are very important questions, as all things will be revealed. Nothing is hidden from the sight of God.
If you are convicted about something you are doing, watching, etc, which you will not be comfortable sharing with your wife or husband, that is the Holy Spirit working on your heart. If you are finding yourself justifying or rationalizing your issue, the first things you should do is to ask God to change your heart; because if in such a situation, it will be very difficult for you to be vulnerable and open to your spouse. Ask God first and ask Him to help you surrender to Him, and help you to be honest. Honesty is the best policy. And honesty should not be just in relational matters, but in every aspect – in finances, not hiding how we spend the money, etc.
We want to encourage you if there are things in your life that are not comfortable, things that are hidden; now is the time to face them, don’t wait.
Personal challenge: open your heart before God and let Him reveal to you areas in your life that need to be righted in your relationship to God, in your marriage and others relationships.We want also to encourage you, the one that hears the vulnerable honesty, give you a tender, forgiving spirit. God’s help is needed on both sides of the honesty equation, so that the damage can be repaired in Christ and move forward. To achieve this, surrender to Christ and communion with Him is necessary.