Marriage in God’s Hands 16
The things that break communication between husband and wife (communication breakers) can lead to a fatal cycle which may eventually lead to divorce. In this presentation it will be revealed how to overcome communication breakers.
One such communication breaker is to state, in an unkind tone, “You always…” or “You never…” The one making such statements should, upon realizing it, apologies and use more realistic statements such as “You often…”
When we are in the “me” focus, it is more likely to blame the other person for past mistakes – to dwell in the past. This does not help the present, but rather damages the relationship. One thing that a couple can do is to focus and discuss only positive things, including from the past, and none of the negative. This can potentially break off that fatal cycle – of dwelling on past negative things.
A third communication breaker is to scream, speak in a loud voice. Speaking in a loud voice does not fix things, but rather causes further damage. The tone and volume one uses when speaking, will influence the other person to speak in a similar way. Also speaking not clearly or too softly so that the other person does not hear well, can be a communication breaker. Agreeing with each other that we are allies and not enemies – fighting the enemies: self and Satan – will make it possible to positively correct the one raising the voice or revealing some intensity in the voice, without causing them to start defending their manner of speech.
A fourth communication breaker is for the driver to not communicate while driving with his spouse. And such silence can occur not only while driving. Not only the newly engaged or married should communicate often, but those married for many years too.
Another communication breaker is if one spouse repeatedly falls asleep when they go to bed while the other shares something important. This may rise questions in the one speaking that should never occur in marriage, such as maybe he or she is not interested in me, or does not really love me. What the one who is tired should do is to inform the other that he or she is tired and drowsy and ask if possible to allocate a time to discuss the issue another time.
A sixth communication breaker is laughter and tears when is not appropriate. Laughter is good, but it should be understood – laugh with someone and not at someone.
Tears should not be used as a means to manipulate the other person and obtain what someone wants. The problem should be addressed without tears and solved.
Another communication breaker, among many, can be jesting, joking and foolishness (see Ephesians 5:4). We should not put the other person down in order to lift ourselves up or cause someone to laugh. The conversation should not be superficial, but rather such that real, important issues, can be addressed.A challenge: identify your weak areas and make commitments to solve them, that you may have a marriage that is heart to heart.