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Marriage in God’s Hands 20

From Discord To Harmony

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We will never find harmony in marriage when we try to solve discord by focusing on self, but rather when we surrender self to Christ and let Him change us. Than we will be able to address the matter well even if the fault is really with the other person.


We like to listen to harmonious music. None of us like a discordant note when listening to a quartet or a choir. So it is with marriage.

They key for harmony in a family is when each member surrenders to God and is in harmony with Him. Than there will be harmony with each other. The Lord has a solution for you, irrespective of what the issue is or whose fault it is, if you will allow God to work in you. When we let self die and give ourselves unreservedly to Christ (see Luke 9:24), it is not only going to impact our lives, but our spouse’s life and our young people’s lives. This is the beauty, which God is trying to bring from discord to harmony.

God wants to give us harmony even in the small discordant matters, as well as the big. Whether we are on the verge of a precipice in terms of discord in marriage, or just experiencing simple trials of life that can bring lack of harmony, we have a need. That need we can either try to fulfil by obtaining what we think we want or need to preserve ourselves, or we can obtain it by what God needs to do to make the difference in our lives. Every one of us needs to make a choice daily or even repeatedly in a day, to let go of self, to surrender self to Christ. Than we will experience the life changing power of Christ. When we let Christ to have us, the little things that upset us, are no longer issues. God wants to make us in harmony with Him and harmony with each other. The solution is in Christ, and the little things or big things are no longer the issues that we thought they were.

We might try to change the other person. If he or she will see things the way I do, there will not longer be discord. But you can never find harmony when you are trying to do find it self’s way. Being willing to lose our lives for Jesus’ sake, being willing to give up for my spouse’s sake, the happier I will be. We all need to recognize that when we start blaming the other person, and are not happy with our marriage, that is the time to cry to God for help.

A challenge: if you are finding yourself today in discord, no matter how small it is, address it today, not in the other person, but in yourself. Even if all in you is crying “But it is not my fault, is hers!” (even if it is her fault, God knows that), ask God to reveal to you what He wants to do to make your discord change to harmony. That will prepare you to reach her even if she really has a problem, better than all you can do in selfishness. At first it might seem a big challenge. But as we let God transform us, it will become easier and easier. This is what many have experienced, including Tom and Alane. It is exciting; it is good news; it is part of the Gospel. The whole gospel of Jesus is taking the discord of our lives and making it harmonious. When we start to allow God to change us, the harmonious music that will be in our lives will not be kept to ourselves. The devil hates for you to have that experience. He will tell you all types of lies, that if you give up on yourself, if you do it God’s way, you will not be happy, you will not be able to do things your way. From experience Tom acknowledges that he has never been a happier man, and that we will never have a happier marriage, than when we are willing to let go of self and do what God is calling us to do. I hope that you will make this choice today, to be willing to give up and let God to turn your discord into harmony.
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