Two Me's Or One Us

True fulfilment and happiness in marriage is found when we study how to advance the happiness of the other person; to move from the “me” focus to the “us” focus.

SUMMARY

We will present principles that will make a vital difference in our marriage. When each is focused on himself or herself – what you do for me – there cannot be a marriage heart to heart. The differences between us should be identified and blended together. Otherwise the strong “me” in each person will result in conflict.

In Matthew 19:5, 6 Jesus we are told that the husband and wife should become one. However when each is focused on how he/she wants things to be, when selfishness regains, there is repulsion, and not attraction. We should consider the needs of the other person, what can I do to make our marriage better. We need to move from the “me” focus to the “us” focus. And, if we listen, God impresses us how to do this.
The “me” focus does not take into account the needs of the other person, and true happiness cannot occur.

Two ways to move from the “me” focus to the “us” focus:
1. Be determined to be all that is possible to be for the other person, for the benefit of the other, for us. Duties can be more enjoyable when they are done with the focus on “us”. We are happier when we consider the wellbeing of the other person.
2. Study how to advance the happiness of the other. For many couples, after they marry the focus turns from the “other” or “us” focus to the “me” focus. And we need to consciously study of ways to make the other person happy.
In the love chapter (1 Corinthians 13), we are told that love is kind and seeks not her own. True love is happy only when it seeks the good of the other. The Bible is full of advice on how to be more for the other and how a proper love relationship works.

The greatest blessing for both comes when we move from the “me” focus to the “us” focus. We find the greatest joy in serving the other person in our marriage. “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” (Ephesians 5:28). This verse becomes a reality to those that unselfishly does good to the other person. The “us” focus is much more fulfilling than the “me” focus.

Once we make a commitment to advance the happiness of the other person, study ways to make this happen. We cannot do this apart form Jesus. We need to surrender ourselves to Christ, and He will help us to move from the “me” focus to the “us” focus.