Marriage in God's Hands 1
Learning To Become One
ABOUT THE SERIES
Marriage in God's Hands provides practical Biblical principles on how to develop a better marriage, and live a happier, more fulfilling life.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Tom and Alane Waters, co-founders of Restoration International, travel world-wide sharing practical Biblical principles through marriage and family retreats and seminars. For more information, please visit their website at www.restoration-international.org.
ABOUT THE PRODUCER
Three Angels Broadcasting Network (3ABN) is an international Christian television network. Its generosity made available this series free of charge. For more information please go to www.3abn.org.
During our courtship time, we were eager to spend time with each other, and there seemed to be no conflicts between us. The wedding was exciting and the honey moon enjoyable. However after the honeymoon, we had to go to our normal lives. Going to work and coming back, Tom was not talking much. He had stress at work, and here his wife was putting pressure on him that he was not communicating right. Both were not to each other’s expectations anymore, and walls began to build between them. They we entering into a fatal cycle without even realizing it; which happens to many couples without them realizing. Tom wanted to keep all his single-life lifestyle, and trying to fit Alane in, without realizing it. Alane responded when Tom was quieter, by withdrawing.
Thankfully God helped them to solve these problems. One evening Tom and Alane had a dispute. Tom felt sorry for himself, and was wandering what was going on. Alane felt hurt and discouraged. However he knew they loved each other, and that they made a permanent commitment to be with each other. That evening the Holy Spirit impressed Tom with this thought: “If you don’t stop picking on your wife, you will destroy her.” For the first time Tom took his mind from himself, and thought of his wife. He realized that it was his problem too, not just his wife’s. As he opened his heart to God, another thought was impressed on his mind by the Lord: “Think of ten things that you love and appreciate about your wife.” Because of the dispute they had, he found it difficult to think of ten positive things about his wife. As he could not think of ten things he appreciated about his wife, Tom asked God for help as he realized the direction he was going and where it will take them; that they were in a fatal cycle. And God opened his heart and positive thoughts began to flow. He became so excited that he wanted to go upstairs to tell his wife the things God did in him. But God impressed him not to tell her the things he loved about her, but to demonstrate that love. He went up, and found Alane in a corner, weeping. He spoke kindly to her, saying that he is sorry and that he loves her. And her heart opened as a flower to the sun. Tom told her that he wrote ten things he loved about her, and that he will not let her read the list, but demonstrate them to her. This was a turning point in their relationship.
Ephesians 4:32 says “be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
One of the things Tom most remembers about that evening was her true forgiveness that comes only from God, as we cannot generate such forgiveness. And Tom also forgave Alane for her faults. They had a new start, and it only grew better. Alane never saw the original list, but knows what they were because Tom demonstrated them to her. Now they have a marriage heart to heart, and their love for each other is growing.