Marriage in God's Hands 9

The Grave For Faults

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Communication with our spouse and with God will help us identify real faults from perceived ones and truly forgive them, making a safe, loving environment to deal with them, and preserve harmony in our marriages.


Complaint, fault finding and gossip are terrible things that destroy communication in marriages. The wife’s heart should be the grave for her husband’s faults and vice versa. None of us are perfect. If we focus on problems, it changes our relationships. If we have an issue with our spouse, the first person we should go to is the person we have the issue with – our spouse, and discuss with her or him the problems. If we burry problems alive, they will erupt in our relationships. However as we allow Christ to crucify those thoughts and feelings in ourselves, the issues can be buried dead. And in the areas where we are week, we can work together to strengthen each other and change.

The home should be a trusting environment; where husband and wife can honour and trust each other. There is no reason why other people have to be involved in a lot of the petty things that husbands and wives are not sharing outside their secret circle.

The love in 1 Corinthians 13 – the divine love that God wants to put in us – changes who we are, our relationships; and makes a safe environment where we can deal with faults.

Sometimes what we consider to be weaknesses in the other person is not a weakness at all. It can be that he or she differs from us in that area, or that we have that weakness and project it on the other person. We have to separate real faults from perceived ones. It is lack of communication that often leads to misconceptions.

We need to identify the real faults, and communicate them with each other. To find out if a fault is real is not just by my perception, but on my knees before the Lord. I need to ask Him not only to change my spouse, but firstly give me real forgiveness and help me burry dead her or his faults. Than I will have the best opportunity to help the other person to work through the real fault.
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